exactly what it says on the tin: the funeral was OK. he was ready to go home, and while i'll always wish i'd gotten to know him better, i'm glad he's not in pain any more. even better than not being in pain, he's with jesus. i'll miss him, but...yeah.
i should be working on my english paper, but at this point...i've been letting this mess my life up for nearly a week now, all because i'm too ashamed to mention it. so here goes: the thing about this whole thing that bothers me the most is that i found it impossible to relate to my family. okay, a whole bunch of people who just lost their father...any sane human being would be able to sympathize at least a little...except that i can't, really. just to the extent that i can tell they're hurting. i never really had a father, except in the biological sense. i don't understand what they do, or what it's like...people were up there telling stories and i was sitting there being confused and trying not to show it. and i feel like an awful person, but...yeah. it's a bit like, hmm, how do i even begin to explain? :\ it's like learning to swim, maybe. you can read about it, watch people do it all you want, and it doesn't make much of a difference. And also, it's something you learn as a kid. If you don't know by then, you probably won't learn it at all. Or something. :\
seems like everyone i've talked to who had a father like mine at least had some sort of father figure. i never did, and by now it's a bit late for that sort of thing...but, hey, does explain the fact that the entire male half of the species seems like aliens to me. lol.
song lyrics? well, hey, why not. side note: ok, old[er] song...but others from the same CD are floating around the internet...I can't be the only one who loves this song :) i've spent many, many a rough night listening to this on repeat...
You know who I am inside
You know when I lie
You can tell when I'm amazed
You can see my faith
You know when I don't believe
You know when I'm free
You can tell when I need love
You know I'm in need
Love, I need love
You are love
I need You
Love, You are love
I need love
I need You
You know of my deepest fear
You know when I'm scared
You can read my empty page
You can feel my rage
You're aware of when I dream
You see when I bleed
You can tell when I need love
You know I'm in need
I know we need You, Father
Much more than any other
Your love brings us together
We need You, we need You
Love, we need love
You are love
We need You
Love, You are love
We need love
We need You I need You.
You know who I am inside...
--Sonicflood, I need you
Comments (1)
Hey thanks for the positive comment!!!!!!!! :D
I never really thought about not cutting on an hourly basis.... but that a good way to look at it too.
I just hope that i can do better. I hate failing :/ it discourages me alot sometimes.
Ohh and that seems like a good song, Ill have to listen to it sometime.
Well, I hope you are doing well!
~Rye